


Maybe it's love

by DarkShadow_2y5



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-07-06 22:59:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15895863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkShadow_2y5/pseuds/DarkShadow_2y5
Summary: Alec Lightwoods family is having a guest over the christmas holidays cause his father is in hospital and he needs a place to stay. His name is Magnus and he is very cute what confuses Alec a lot.In the meantime Alecs best friend Simon is trying to ask his crush Raphael out on a date what happens to be way more difficult than he had thought.(Written from Alec’s and Simon’s POV)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The main pairings are Malec and Saphael. Raphael is still asexual but not aromantic like in the books. If you don't like that please don't read it :) If you do I hope you enjoy the story

POV Alec

“What is it mother? Why did you call us here?” Alec asked and sat down on the sofa in front of the fireplace, next to his adoptive brother Jace. His sister Izzy was also there, casually sitting on the armchair opposite of them, dressed in a very fluffy looking pink hoodie and grey leggins. It still was kinda weird to Alec to see his sister in clothes like that cause normally she used to dress way more elegant, even when she was at home. This year, however, she had discovered that hoodies were very comfortable after all and started wearing them more and more often, especially on cold days like today.

Jace on the other hand didn't seem to give a fuck about the chilly temperatures outside since he was only wearing a T-Shirt. Alec could just shake his head about that. He could already see his brother catching a cold again like he did every winter. For some reason he still was surprised about it every time even though everybody told him constantly to wear warmer clothes. But well - he was old enough to make his own decisions. 

“Is it bad news again?” Jace asked now with a serious expression on his face and looked into Izzy's direction. “Last time you called us here was when you told us that Izzy decided to cook thanksgiving dinner for us.” 

“Hey!” Izzy yelled and threw a pillow at Jace but managed to duck just in time and the pillow hit the wall behind him instead. 

“Hey be careful I just did my hair” Jace complained and Alec couldn't fight the urge to roll his eyes. His brother had been in the bathroom for about two hours this morning just because Clary wanted to drop by later. Clary was Jaces girlfriend. Alec kinda liked her but she definitely had been here way too often in the last weeks. He almost felt like she had moved in already. Yesterday he had found one of her hair clips in the bathroom and her pillow was still lying on the couch in the living room, right there where he was sitting just now. Izzy, Maryse and Jace didn't seem to mind but Alec slowly began to feel like Clary was planning on staying here permanently. He liked her, sure, but Alec just couldn't help but feel a little bit uncomfortable about her intruding their family. 

Alec knew that he probably came off rude because he thought like that but he just needed a very long time to trust people, to get to know them more closely. There was almost nobody he trusted entirely. He had also been suspicious of Jace first when he came to them at the age of five but now, almost thirteen years later, he was not only his brother but also his best friend. Jace was part of the family. Jace was a good guy.

Maybe the reason why Alec didn't like people intruding their home was that he always felt the strong urge to protect his family. He didn't want anyone of them getting hurt and he couldn't be entirely sure yet whether Clary would also become a part of this family or if she would just end up breaking Jaces heart. 

It was hard to gain Alecs trust but if he trusted somebody he would give everything for them. 

Maybe he seemed rude sometimes and other people thought he was just being antisocial because of his behaviour but Alec couldn't care less. He was who he was and who didn't like that should just leave him alone. He wasn't forcing anybody to like him. He didn't need anybody to like him. Alec actually liked being alone. People were just giving him a headache most of the time. 

What Alec annoyed most about others was their urge to talk the whole time. The urge of verbal communication was just silly in his eyes. Why should he talk when there wasn't anything to talk about? Why did people always bother him to talk more when in most cases they weren't actually interested in his life anyways? Why was it so hard for people to just be together and enjoy each others company without having to say something the entire time? 

Ironic though that Alecs only friend - apart from his family - happened to be the most talkative human being that had ever been born. Alec still couldn't really understand why and how they had become friends in the first place but somehow it had just happened. 

Simon Lewis. He was like the complete opposite of Alec but somehow he liked him anyways. Alec had tried to dislike him but it didn't work. 

For a moment Alec had been lost in thoughts. When he came back to reality again he realized that Jace and Izzy were still arguing about the thanksgiving dinner and the turkey that was still giving Alec nightmares if he was being honest.  
But he didn't want to encourage the discussion even more so he decided to keep his mouth shut. Also their mother looked really exhausted and Alec felt like there was something bothering her. Maryse had always been very good in hiding how she felt but Alec knew her well enough to know that there was something wrong. Maybe the situation was more serious than they had thought.

“Jace shut the hell up” Alec hissed and digged his brother in the ribs. “Mom wanted to say something, you remember?”

“Right. I’m sorry” Jace said.

“Me too” Izzy apologized as well. “So what is it mom?” 

They all looked at Maryse, waiting tensely. Suddenly it was completely quiet in the room, the only noise breaking the silence being the crackle of the flames in the fireplace.

“You all know about my old school friend Jack don't you” Maryse eventually started talking. “We didn't have that much contact in the last few years but we used to be very close back then.”  
Jace and Izzy nodded, Alec frowned. He slowly started to get a very bad feeling about this. And apparently he wasn't wrong: “Well I just found out that he was having a car accident yesterday and got hurt badly” Maryse said next.

“Oh my god that's horrible” Izzy said, obviously in shock. “Is he going to make it?” 

Maryse gulped visibly. “They don't know it yet, probably yes. He's in a coma at the moment but they said that he has a good chance of waking up again. But maybe he will remain permanently disabled.” 

Alec was relieved. A little bit. At least the wasn't dead yet. And he would probably wake up again. That was definitely a good thing. But of course the situation was still horrible.

“How is his family doing? He has a son hasn't he?” he asked. 

Alec had never met that guy. Well actually he had but it had been many years ago, back then when he was four years old or something like that. He couldn't remember him at all. All he still knew about Jack's son was that he had been kinda nice. And that he had been wearing very glittery shoes. Alec was a little bit embarrassed that he couldn't remember more of him but he guessed it was just normal. 

“Yes that's exactly what I wanted to talk about” Maryse said. “You know that Jack's wife died shortly after giving birth to her son and he doesn't have any other relatives except his mother but she can't do anything because she lives in a old people's home. Therefore his son needs a place to stay over the holidays and I once promised Jack that I was going to take care of Magnus … you know … in case something happens to him. So he's going to stay with us until his father hopefully wakes up again. Are you okay with that?” 

Maybe Alec only imagined it but he felt like his mother was looking at him in the first place when she asked that question. Did she really think that Alec would be rude to that poor guy? That he wouldn't want him here? In a situation like that? Alec was hurt. He wasn't that bad, was he?  
He bit his lip and looked down at his hands, trying not to be upset about this. 

“Of course we are” Jace said when Alec didn't answer. “I don’t even want to imagine what this poor guy has to go through at the moment…” 

“When I talked to him on the phone he seemed to be fine considering the circumstances” Maryse said with a little smile. “He's a very strong boy.” 

“So when is he going to come?” Izzy asked.

“Tomorrow in the morning” Maryse said. “And I want you all to come with me and pick him up from the train station.” 

The three of them nodded. “Of course” said Alec.  
“Thank you. I think he really needs some friends now who help him to deal with his situation …” 

“Sure. We're going to be there for him” Izzy said and hugged their mother. Maryse smiled thankfully. “I'm sure you're going to make him smile again.” 

 

The next morning Alec woke up early but he didn't stand up yet. He kept lying in his bed and stared into the darkness. For some reason he was nervous about meeting Jacks son. He had never been good in showing people that he cared and that he wanted to be there for them. That he wanted to help them to feel better. He didn't know how to talk to people in situations like that. Alec just didn't want to screw it up and make his guy feel even worse than he already did by being rude or saying something wrong. He definitely wasn't the right person to consult in situations like that. Maybe he should just say nothing at all but that would be rude as well.

Alec sighed. He already knew that he was going to make a complete fool of himself. He would probably just stand there and stare at Magnus, not knowing what to say. Alec tried to think of a few sentences to express compassion but they all sounded totally cliche, like he was reciting a sad scene in a movie or something. It sounded like he would just say it because he felt an obligation to do so, not because he actually meant it. 

God why was this so hard for him? It was barely eight o'clock in the morning and Alec was already close to getting a migraine. He pulled his blanket over his face and tried to think about something else but it wasn't working. 

Alec was almost glad when there was a knock on his door cause it was distracting him from his thoughts. He pushed the blanket aside and saw his mother's head looking into the room. “Hey sweetie are you awake?” she asked quietly. 

Urgh. Alec hated when she called him sweetie but he was way too tired to argue about that. He had barely slept the whole night and he realized just now how exhausted he felt. 

“Yes I am” he said and sat up. He couldn't sleep anyways so what was the use of lying around like that?

“That's good. We already have to drive in half an hour so please get ready.” 

“Oh okay” Alec said surprised. He hadn't expected that they would leave that early. 

Maryse smiled at him and left the room. Alec yawned and walked into the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and took a shower, hoping the water would wake him up a little. It actually worked but when he stepped out of the cabin he immediately felt cold. He quickly put on some warm clothes and rubbed his hair dry without brushing it afterwards. That was just a waste of time anyways. Alecs dark hair had always been messy and it was almost impossible to tame it so he didn’t even bother to try. 

When he came down into the kitchen Maryse was nowhere to be seen. Jace and Izzy neither. Alec shrugged and walked to the coffee machine. He needed something hot now or he would probably freeze to death. For a short moment he wondered if their heater was working properly but then he came to the conclusion that he was just so cold because of the lack of sleep. 

He was just drinking the first sip when his mother entered the room. “Oh wow you're quick today” she said, sounding stressed.

“Do you also want a cup?” Alec asked pointing at the coffee machine.

“Oh yes that would be amazing.” 

“Here take mine I’m going to make another one for me.” 

“Thanks sweetie” Maryse said with a smile and took the cup. “Sorry but I'm a little bit stressed today.” 

“Yeah I can see.” 

Maryse sighed. “This all came so suddenly… of course nobody could know but still…what about you by the way? You look tired.” 

“It's nothing” Alec said casually. He didn't want  
his mother to worry about him. “I’m just a little bit excited as well.” 

“Awww there's no need to be excited. I’m sure Magnus is going to love you. If I remember correctly he wanted to marry you when you two were kids.” Maryse chuckled. 

“What?!!” Alec almost dropped the cup he had just taken from the cupboard. His mother had to be kidding him. But apparently she wasn't: “I know it's been a long time since you saw him the last time and you haven't seen him very often but I remember that after you two met for the first time he almost immediately declared that he is going to marry you someday. It was very cute. But he probably won't remember either.” 

Alec blushed. God why didn't he remember any of this? At least his mother seemed to be a little bit more relaxed again, thinking of the old times. 

“Who won't remember what?” Izzy asked curiously. She had just entered the kitchen and threw a questioning look at their mother.

“Nobody. It's not important” Alec said quickly before Maryse had the chance to answer. He didn't want Izzy to know about this. She probably would tell Magnus straight away or she would tease Alec with it for the rest of his life.

“Mom?” 

Maryse shrugged. “I won't say anything” she said and continued drinking her coffee. Izzy pouted and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Not fair. You two have been talking about Magnus haven't you?” 

“Maybe…” Alec said mysteriously and grinned. Just in that moment Jace also came into the room. He immediately opened the fridge to get some food but Maryse held him back.

“I wanted to have breakfast later, together with Magnus” she explained. “I think it would be nice if we would wait until then.” 

Jace whined. “But I’m going to starve in the meanwhile” he said dramatically. 

Maryse gave him a stern look and Izzy stepped on his foot. “Ouch. Okay, okay I’m gonna wait” Jace said. “Are we going to drive now?”

Maryse looked at her watch. “Yes I think it's about time.” Her gaze wandered on to the stove and she seemed to think about something. “Actually it would be nice if the breakfast was already done when we come back, don't you think?” she asked. “I remember that Magnus used to love french toast and pancakes when he was younger so maybe one of you could prepare something while we are gone.” 

“I’m gonna do that” Alec said quickly. This was the perfect opportunity to push back his meeting with Magnus a little bit further. 

Maryse beamed at him. “Oh you would really do that? That's great. I’m sure Magnus is going to appreciate it.”

“I could also do it” Izzy offered. 

“God no this poor guy is in enough pain already” Jace said, causing Izzy to slap him on the back of his head. “Ouch!” 

Maryse rolled her eyes. “Come on let's go” she said and pushed Izzy and Jace to the front door. “And you, Alec, please don't burn the house down while we're gone.”


	2. Chapter 2

POV Alec

As soon as the others were gone Alec already regretted that he had volunteered to do this. He didn't even know how to make french toast for fucks sake.

“Great job Alec” he murmured to himself and sat down at the kitchen table. He looked out of the window but he couldn't see much since it still was very dark. Only when a car drove by he saw in the spotlight that it was raining. Again. Great. It had been raining almost constantly for the past three days and slowly but surely it started to annoy Alec. He wanted snow, no rain. 

He finished drinking his coffee, then he grabbed his smartphone and googled “How to make french toast”. Luckily it didn't seem to be very complicated. He needed eggs, sugar, milk, cinnamon and toast of course. 

Alec prepared everything, then he started cooking. He just hoped that this would work. 

\--------------

A little bit over half an hour later the kitchen was a mess but Alec had actually managed to prepare something that looked eatable. And it smelled good. Alec was sure about the pancakes cause it wasn't the first time he had made some but he was still suspicious about the french toast. It looked great but what did it taste like? Alec didn't want to risk anything so he tried one of them. 

“Oh wow” he said surprised when he realized that it actually tasted quite good. He just hoped that Magnus would think the same. 

Alec just wanted to sit down and relax when he saw the mess on the kitchen counter. Fuck. He had to clean this up before the others were back. And he also had to set the table. 

His mother and his siblings had been gone for almost an hour now and Alec guessed that they were going to come back soon since the train station was only about ten minutes away from their house.

He ran through the kitchen and almost fell over his own feet, trying to get everything done in time.

He quickly cleaned the counter, then he put the dirty bowls and plates which he had used into the dishwasher and placed clean ones on the table. When he was done with that he saw his mother's car stopping in front of their house. They were back. This meant he would meet Magnus at any second. 

Alec didn't know what to do. How should he greet him? Shake his hand? No - way too formal. Nobody in their age did that. Was it enough to just say “Hi” or would it sound stupid? 

Before he could decide on what to do Alec realized that he had forgotten to put drinks on the table. “Damn it” he cursed and grabbed a bottle of orange juice from the fridge. It was probably ridiculous that he was panicking like that but he couldn't help it. He had always been a perfectionist and he wanted everything to be flawless for Magnus. This was his way of showing that he cared. When he couldn't tell him he could at least try to show it. 

Alec started pouring the juice into the glasses he had placed on the table but he was a little bit too late. Just when he arrived at the last one the others came into the room: Maryse, Jace, Izzy and a boy with tousled black hair and red cheeks. He was wearing a black coat with glittery stones on it that kinda looked like little ice crystals and a dark blue scarf that was hiding almost half of his face.

Alec froze in the middle of the movement and stared at him. Eventually the boy who obviously was Magnus pulled his scarf down and smiled. 

“Hi” he said and Alecs brain went blank immediately. Gosh this guy was hella cute. How on earth was he supposed to deal with this? 

Alec opened his mouth in order to say something but not a single word came over his lips. He totally blacked out for a second, but then his sisters voice brought him back to reality again.

“Alec it's spilling over” Izzy said.

Alec frowned. “Uh what?” he asked distractedly. He had no idea what she was talking about.

“The juice” Izzy said, more emphatically this time. “It's spilling over.”

Alec looked down and cursed when he realized what Izzy had been talking about: the glass was already full and the juice was running over the edge for quite some time now, wrenching the tablecloth. 

“Damn it.” 

“Don't worry about that” Maryse said. “I’ll wash it later. It's not a big deal.” 

Alec blushed. Normally he wasn’t even that clumsy but when a cute boy was near him he just couldn't concentrate on anything. 

“You're Alexander right?” Magnus asked now. 

“Um, yes, I’m your breakfast and … what? Uh no what the hell am I talking? I mean I’m Alec and I made you breakfast” Alec stammered and almost knocked the glass over while he was talking. “As you can probably see anyways” he added quietly and felt like his head was about to explode.

Great. Magnus was here for five seconds and he had already embarrassed himself to the bone. He wasn't very surprised about it though since he had expected it to happen anyways.

Jace looked like he was about to choke, trying not to laugh and Izzy also struggled visibly. Magnus bit his lip and looked slightly amused but at least he didn't laugh. 

“I hope you still like pancakes and french toast” Maryse said, obviously trying to make the situation less embarrassing for Alec by drawing Magnus's attention to her. Alec had never loved his mother more than he did right now. 

Luckily her plan worked and Magnus looked at her instead. “Oh yes I still love them” he said and beamed. “That's really a great surprise.” 

 

A few minutes later they were all sitting at the table together and started eating. 

“Wow” Magnus said impressed. “I think that's the best pancake I’ve ever had. You're an incredible cook Alexander.” 

Alec blushed deeply. He kinda liked that he called him Alexander. Nobody did that cause normally Alec prefered the other version but with Magnus it was different for some reason. His name sounded so nice when he was the one saying it.

“Thanks” Alec said shyly. Then he continued eating silently while Izzy and Jace talked to Magnus. They told him stories about their family and friends and even made him laugh once. Of course his laugh was incredibly cute too. 

Alec just sat there and didn't say a word. He didn't dare to. Heaven knows what nonsense would leave his mouth when he opened it again. He was totally fine with listening. And cursory glancing at Magnus from time to time. One time Magnus looked at him as well and their eyes met. Alec smiled quickly before shyly lowering his eyes again. He hoped that Magnus wouldn't misinterpreted his behaviour and think that he didn't like him because of course that wasn't the case. He was just … confused. Looking into Magnus's gentle brown eyes was making him feel like he could trust him but how was that even possible if he had just met him? Alec knew almost nothing about him but still his subconsciousness told him that he was a good guy. Probably it was because he had already met him as a child but it still was making Alec nervous.

Magnus smiled back at him every time they looked at each other during breakfast but he didn't try to talk to him again. Alec was very thankful for that. Other people always pushed him but Magnus didn't. He seemed to know. Somehow he seemed to understand. 

After they had finished eating Izzy and Jace helped Maryse to clear the table. Magnus and Alec offered their help as well but Maryse shook her head. 

“No, no, that's not necessary” she said to Alec. “We're good here. But maybe you could help Magnus with his luggage. It's still in the trunk.” 

“Sure” Alec said and the two boys walked to the front door. Alec opened the door and sighed when he saw that the rain had become even heavier than before.

“Oh great” he said sarcastically and grabbed his coat while Magnus was putting on his again.

“You're not very talkative are you?” he asked.

“No” Alec mumbled. 

Magnus smiled at him. “I like quiet people. They're way more interesting in my opinion. Kinda mysterious…”

Alec blushed. “I’m not trying to be mysterious.”

“But yet you are” Magnus said with a little grin on his face and winked at him before he stepped out into the rain, leaving Alec speechless.

Him being mysterious? That definitely was the first time someone had said that about him. Alec shook his head then he quickly put on his shoes and followed Magnus outside. 

They grabbed the suitcases and carried them into the house. Alec lead Magnus to his room, which was on the second floor right next to his own and opposite of Jace’s. Clary had slept there too sometimes but she had decided that she liked the sofa in the living room better and she slept there ever since when she stayed over night so the room was free now. 

It wasn't a very special room but Alec hoped Magnus would like it anyways.

“I know it's kinda basic but well …” he said and put the suitcases down on the floor. “Me and my sister tried to clean it as much as we could. I hope there isn't any of Clarys stuff in here any more…” 

Magnus frowned, looking confused. “I thought your sisters name was Isabelle?”

“Oh no I’m not talking about her” Alec said. “Clary is my brothers girlfriend. She's here quite often so her stuff is basically everywhere all around the house.”

“Oh yeah I know that too well” Magnus said with a little chuckle. “Girlfriends huh? If she starts leaving her stuff it's about to get serious.” 

“Uh yeah. I guess” Alec mumbled, without looking at the other one. 

Why did it feel so disappointing to hear him talking about having a girlfriend? Alec should have expected that he was hetero. Or at least not gay like him. Alec didn't know anybody who was gay but he didn't know many people in general. Maybe it was because of that. His best friend Simon was pansexual though. And he definitely was very sure about that. He used to have something with Maia, a barkeeper they had met at one of the gigs of Simons band but they broke up a few weeks ago. They were still friends though. Now Simon was having a little (or not so little) crush on the new boy at their school. Raphael Santiago.

Raphael, in contrast to Alec, was indeed very mysterious. He was barely talking at all. Nobody knew anything about his past, his family or who he was in general. 

Simon always made up crazy stories about him in which he was the kid of a mafia boss or a vampire or something like that. Simon loved fantasy books and he basically saw vampires everywhere.

First Simon had been totally fine with admiring Raphael from the distance but within the last few days of school his obsession with him had turned into something deeper. Simon had told Alec that he seriously thought about asking him out. But he didn't dare to do so yet. Instead he kept calling Alec every two seconds, asking him what to do. As if Alec would know how to ask a boy out just because he was gay.

“Never had a girlfriend?” Magnus asked now. 

Alec shrugged. “No” he said simply. Somehow he didn't feel like telling Magnus that he wasn't looking for a girl. Why should he though? He didn't have to explain his sexual preferences to anyone. Especially since he was still trying to figure everything out. He was pretty sure that he was gay cause he had never felt attraction to a girl but maybe he just had not met the right one yet? Maybe he was bisexual? Or something else? At this point Alec was just confused. He had never had either a boyfriend nor a girlfriend. He hadn't kissed anyone yet. So how was he supposed to know what he liked and what not? Well he probably prefered looking at boys but maybe kissing would also feel good with a girl … who could know? 

Alec wondered how it would feel to kiss Magnus but he hastily pushed that thought away again. Even if Magnus was bisexual he surely wouldn't be interested in him. Or he already was in a relationship. Also he probably wasn't looking for a lover now with the trouble with his father. He needed a friend and Alec decided that he would be that friend. No matter how cute Magnus was. He would just try to ignore it. Hitting on him now would be very inappropriate. Also Alec didn't have a clue how to hit on somebody and he didn't want to make a fool of himself yet again.

“Do you want me to show you the rest of the house?” Alec asked, trying to change the topic. “Or do you want to unpack first?” 

“No I think I’ll take the tour” Magnus said and grinned at him. Alec couldn't help but smile back. When he looked at the other boys face he suddenly remembered something, something his mother had once said to him: the people who endured the most pain in their lives are the ones who have the most beautiful smile. Alec was almost certain that Magnus was one of those people. He had lost his mother so young and now the thing with his father … but still he smiled almost the whole time. Alec was sure that he was sad inside and that he was scared and at this point probably also a little bit lonely and still he seemed so strong. It was truly impressing.

“Okay then let's start with my room, it's right next to yours” Alec said and Magnus followed him. 

For the next few minutes they were walking through the house until they finally arrived in the last room - the living room. 

“Oh wow you have a piano” Magnus said, sounding impressed.

“Yeah Jace plays it most of the time. I’m not very good with music …” Alec said. Actually Jace was the only one in their family with musical talent. 

“I also took some lessons actually.”

“Oh really? Do you want to play?” Alec asked. He really wanted to hear this. Even though he couldn't play the piano by himself he still liked listening to it when more talented people did so. People who actually knew what they were doing.

Magnus seemed to be a little bit insecure about it though. “You're sure you wanna hear this?” he asked. “It's been quite a while since I played for the last time.” 

“Well I can't play at all so I probably won't even notice if there's something wrong.” 

Magnus chuckled a little bit. “Okay, I’ll try. But don't laugh at me when it's horrible.”

“I would never do that. I swear” Alec said honestly.

Magnus smiled at him and sat down in front of the piano. Alec took a few steps back and sat down on the sofa, wanting to leave Magnus some space to breathe. 

He knew exactly how annoying and uncomfortable it was when people were looking at one's fingers while they were doing something they were nervous about anyways. It was just like having to write an exam while the teachers were standing right in front of their students desk and staring at their paper with critical expressions on their faces. Alec really hated that. And he was sure that Magnus wouldn't like it either.

Magnus took a deep breath, then he started playing. The first two sounds were a little bit off but then he quickly found his rhythm and played a quiet and rather slow melody. 

Alec winced. He knew that melody. Gosh this actually was one of his favorite songs, even though the lyrics were very sad. But maybe it was just because of that. The song was beautiful because it was so sad. Alec had never expected Magnus to know this song. Or to play it.

He looked closer at the other boy and saw that he had his eyes closed while he was playing. Also his lips were moving, silently singing the lyrics Alec knew so well: “I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears and if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave, cause your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone. These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real, there’s just so much that time cannot erase … ”

Alec would have loved to actually hear Magnus's voice instead of just seeing his lips moving but he could totally understand that Magnus didn't want to sing in front of him. It would probably make him even more vulnerable to show so much of himself. 

Still the way he was playing the song was so beautiful that Alec almost started crying. He was so busy trying to keep a straight face that he kinda missed the last seconds of it. 

He just realized that Magnus was done when he cleared his throat, obviously trying to break the silence. 

Alec looked at him with his mouth open. He really wanted to say something, something that wouldn't ruin this moment but before he could think of something else than just a plain “Wow” Jace came into the room and broke the strange tension that had been between them. 

Alec wasn't exactly sure whether he should be thankful or upset about this but it probably rather was the first one in his case. 

“Wow you're really good” Jace said. “That was awesome.”

‘Great Alec, why couldn't you just say something like that as well? It's not that hard. Now Magnus is going to think that you didn't like it.’

“Thank you but it's not exactly very hard to play” Magnus said.

Jace shrugged. “It's about the way you played it. You're really good in expressing feelings through your music. Not everybody can do that. Maybe many people can play what is written on that paper but not many of them can really trigger big emotions in their listeners by the way they're playing it. Cause they play with their head and not with their heart like you do.” 

Alec saw that Magnus was actually blushing now and suddenly he wasn't that sure anymore if he was really glad about Jace interrupting their moment. Why could he say all these things so beautifully and make Magnus blush while Alec was just sitting there, looking dumbfounded?

For Jace this seemed to be so easy but for Alec it would probably be almost impossible to tell Magnus something like that. This wasn't fair at all.

“I heard you play as well?” Magnus said now, still talking to Jace.

“Yeah a bit. Girls love it you know?” Jace said casually and laughed. Magnus laughed as well.  
Jup. Alec had definitely never been more annoyed about Jace than he was right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is "My immortal" by "Evanescence".  
> The next two chapters are going to be from Simons POV. I hope you're gonna like that perspective as well


	3. Chapter 3

POV Simon  
Even though it was only 9am Simon Lewis was already stressed out. This definitely wasn't how he had planned his holidays to start. If only he had half a brain this surely wouldn't have happened but Simon had always been a little bit out of it. He knew that. He didn't like it but he couldn't change it either. He had waited too long and now he was paying the price for it.

Normally Simon always bought christmas presents at the end of november but this year he had forgotten to do so. Now christmas only was four days away and he still didn't have any presents at all. Simon’s family didn't celebrate christmas because they were jewish but still he always bought little gifts for his non-jewish friends and he really preferred getting that done before the typical christmas hysteria started.Unfortunately it was too late for that this year. Now he had to buy his presents together with millions of other people who were just as stressed out as he was and he definitely wasn't looking forward to that. It was going to be a nightmare.

His morning had started quite unpleasant in general. As soon as he had finally convinced himself to leave the house it started raining and of course Simon didn't have an umbrella with him. But he didn’t want to go back again either so he spontaneously decided to take a little breakfast in his favorite coffee shop Java Jones and wait there until the rain stopped.

Simon entered the coffee shop and let out a sigh of relief when he saw that his favorite seat at the window was still free. ‘At least one good thing‘ he thought and quickly sat down before somebody else had the chance to do so. 

After drinking some coffee and eating one of the usual blueberry cupcakes he always ordered Simon immediately felt better. Also the atmosphere in the shop was very pleasant - it was warm, not too loud and the delicious smell of donuts and cinnamon waffles was in the air. It was almost peaceful. The only bad thing was that the longer Simon was sitting there the less the wanted to go out on the streets again, where it was wet and loud and busy and definitely not peaceful at all. 

Actually it was quite shocking how many people were already running around that early in the morning especially considering that the weather was so bad and it was holiday time as well. 

‘Probably they're just as stupid as you are and just realized that they forgot to buy their christmas stuff’ Simon thought while he was watching the people through the window. Simon loved watching people in general. He also always made up crazy stories about their lives. Why did they look so sad? So angry? So happy? What had happened? Who were they? You could never know. Simon thought that it was very interesting and entertaining to think about other people's life stories like that but unfortunately most people didn't really like being stared at. Sometimes Simon felt like a creep because of that unusual habit of his but it wasn't like he wanted to do anybody harm. He wasn't thinking inappropriate stuff when he looked at all those people. He was just curious. But how were these people supposed to know what he was thinking? They couldn't know that he wasn't having any inappropriate thoughts about them so it was understandable that they sometimes reacted irritated because of his looks. He always tried to be decent with his staring so nobody felt weird because of him and by now he was very good at it. 

At least that was what he thought because he had been staring at this one specific guy for almost four weeks now and he hadn't noticed at all … Simon shook his head. No he wasn't going to think about him yet again. This guy had already distracted him way too much in the last few weeks. Probably he also was the reason why Simon had forgotten to do his christmas shopping in the first place. There were so many theories in his head about who he was and what his life was like that Simon couldn't concentrate on anything else. Also he was just so dark and handsome and mysterious … 

Simon was just about to start daydreaming again when he suddenly heard a voice right next to him, a voice he definitely had not expected and did not want to hear for the next few weeks: “Hi Simon, what a pleasure to meet you here.” 

Simon winced and choked on his coffee, almost spitting it out again when he coughed. What the hell was Heidi doing here? Was this some kind of bad joke? If so it definitely wasn't funny, not at all. He had been so relieved that school was finally over for this year and that he didn't have to deal with her any longer and then he met her on his first day off? Maybe he hadn't been paranoid after all and she had really hitten some kind of GPS transmitter in his bag because uncannily she always seemed to know exactly where he was. He met her so often that it just couldn't be a coincidence. It was either that or Simon was just the most unlucky person that had ever been born.  
Simon wasn't somebody who hated on people - he had been bullied when he was younger so he was very sensitive about this topic - but Heidi was just too much for him to handle. She was a fan of Simons band and for some reason she had developed a very weird and very crazy obsession with him. Simon didn't know why, he just knew that this girl was getting on his nerves and that her behaviour really started to get a little bit too creepy for his taste. She was always there where he was and Simon just had a very bad feeling about the whole situation with her. He really didn't want things to go completely out of hand but if this was getting worse he definitely had to do something against it. He probably had already been nice for too long. 

“I work here now” Heidi said when Simon had stopped coughing and was able to breathe again. “I know that this is one of your favorite places and I thought it's the perfect opportunity for us to see each other more often.” She beamed at him.

“Oh that's great” Simon said and forced a smile on his face but he was sure that it wasn't very convincing. Heidi didn't seem to notice though. Or she just didn't care.

“I would love to chat with you longer but I have work to do.” 

‘Thank god’, Simon thought and he almost said it out loud. 

“See you later Si” Heidi said and winked at him. “And I hope you enjoy your vanilla latte with extra sugar.” 

“Yeah it's delicious.” That actually was the only true thing he had said to her today.

Simon waited till Heidi was gone then he quickly drank out the rest of his coffee and left the shop.He was too afraid that she was going to come back again and now that he had the chance to choose between talking to Heidi and walking through the rain outside he definitely picked the second option.

\---------------

Simon was walking really fast for the first few minutes, then he eventually slowed down again, trying to catch his breath. He had been so busy with getting as much distance between him and Heidi as possible that he hadn't even noticed that it wasn't raining any longer. It was still cold and windy but at least he could continue on his way now without getting drenched even more. 

Simon had almost arrived at the shopping center when he suddenly spotted a music store to his left. He stopped and looked at the guitars in the window with a dreamy expression on his face. Simon loved music and everything connected to it. Normally he knew every good store in this area and he was surprised that he had never heard about this one. It couldn't be here for a very long time that was sure. He definitely would have noticed it by now. 

Simon knew that he probably shouldn't go in there if he wanted to save his money for the presents he was planning to buy but in the end he just couldn't stop himself. It was like the guitars were calling for him. And he couldn't bear the thought that there was a music store he hadn't checked out yet. He would just take a quick look and leave again. He wouldn't buy anything. Nothing at all. 

He opened the door and entered the building. Simon immediately liked it because there was ACDC playing over the speakers. Also the store seemed to have a pretty large selection. Maybe this day wasn't going to be that horrible after all. 

Simon was so excited to take a closer look at everything that he almost fell over his own feet on his way to the CD shelves. He just hoped that nobody had seen this. Simon looked around but there weren't many people in there. Just a black haired girl with her boyfriend, a middle aged man with long brown hair and a beard and dark haired boy who seemed to be very interested in the guitars from the window. Neither of them seemed to have noticed his clumsiness. The boy didn't even turn around - he was looking into the opposite direction and Simon could only see his back. 

Nevertheless Simon was not able to get his eyes off of him. But why? It wasn't like he would know this dude … or did he? 

It took Simon a moment but then the realization hit him: he knew that coat and he knew that hair as well. The boy who was standing over there was nobody else than his crush Raphael Santiago.

Simon couldn't believe his eyes but there was no way he could be wrong about this. Raphael was really there. It was crazy. First Heidi and now him … Simon guessed that by the end of the day he probably would have met his entire school. 

What should he do now? Simon bit his lip, unsure whether he should go up to Raphael and talk to him or not. It always seemed like he wasn't exactly fond of verbal communication and Simon didn't want to bother him. Also he was hella nervous. He probably wouldn't get any coherent sentence out of his mouth when he tried to talk to him. But this was the perfect opportunity to finally go for it. Simon was sure that he was going to regret it if he didn't take this chance so he decided to just do it. Now or never. He had already put this off for way too long. 

He took a deep breath and then walked over to him. Luckily he managed to do that without falling over his feet again. 

Raphael was still looking at the guitars and only turned around when Simon shyly poked his shoulder. “Um hi” he said and laughed nervously when the other one looked at him. “What a coincidence that I meet you here.” A very lucky coincidence for sure. 

Raphael raised his eyebrows. “Do I know you?” he asked, sounding confused.

‘Great’ Simon thought discouraged. ‘He doesn't even know that I exist’. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. But he wouldn't give up that easily.

“I’m Simon. Simon Lewis” Simon said. “We go to the same school and we have quite a lot classes together actually. Maths and geography for example. And I once opened the door for you … but you probably won't remember that either. Not that I want to complain I mean you just came to our school so it's just normal that you don't know that many people yet. I never talked to you but it's just because you are always so quiet… not that this is a bad thing but I just thought that….” 

“Oh now definitely remember you” Raphael interrupted his flood of words. “You're that guy who literally never stops talking. I guess I didn't recognise you because of the glasses.” 

“Glasses? Oh yeah right I usually wear contacts in school” Simon blushed. So he did know who he was. This was the best morning of his life. 

“I prefer the glasses” Raphael said. It was just a simple statement and it definitely didn't sound like he was trying to make compliments but nevertheless Simon got all excited about his words. From now on he would always wear his glasses. Why shouldn't he though? Glasses were great. 

Simon opened his mouth but he didn't know what to say. He couldn't believe that this was happening to him. Raphael also seemed to be surprised by the lack of an answer. He raised his eyebrows and Simon could have sworn that he actually smiled a little bit. Maybe had just imagined it though. 

It was always very hard to see any emotions on Raphael's face but that was exactly the thing that was making him so interesting for Simon. He was hard to read and only people who took their time to get to know him better could find out what he was thinking and who he really was. And for some reason Simon wanted to be one of those people. He wanted to get to know him at any price. Even if it wasn't romantically. He would prefer that of course but maybe he could also just be friends with him. Simon wasn’t that sure about his own intentions yet; all he was certain of was that he felt connected to Raphael and that he didn't want to keep his distance any longer. He wanted something to happen. And then he could just wait and see how it turned out.

“You are speechless? I never thought that I would see the day” Raphael said eventually.

Simon laughed sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. He always did that when he was nervous. “I just thought that this whole conversation would be totally different and that you would kill me or something like that” he tried to explain.

Raphael stared at him for a moment then he lowered his eyes and chuckled. And Simon was sure that he had not imagined that. It was so weird to hear such a sound coming out of Raphael's mouth but it was weird in a good way. His chuckle was adorable. 

Simon quickly tried to change the topic. “So uh what are you doing here?” he asked and just realized how stupid the question was when it was already too late. 

“I wanted to watch a movie but somehow I can't find the counter where they sell the tickets” Raphael answered sarcastically and Simon blushed even more. He really wasn't good at small talk. 

“Okay I admit that question was kinda unnecessary. I guess you play the guitar?” He pointed at the window. 

Raphael shook his head. “No I don't. But I would love to.” 

“Then why don't you just take one and try it?” Simon asked excited. “I mean you don't have to buy it.” 

Raphael seemed to think about it for a moment but then he shook his head. “I’d rather not.” 

Simon was just about to ask why but he decided against it. He didn't want to bother Raphael or fuck this up before it had even started (whatever ‘this’ exactly was).

It definitely wasn't easy to have a conversation with this boy. Normally Simon just talked and talked but right now it was like there was something blocking his brain. 

There was an uncomfortable silence between them and Simon was more than surprised that Raphael was the one who broke it eventually: “You have a band right?” 

“Yes” Simon said and beamed. He couldn't believe that Raphael knew that. “I didn't know that you listen to our music.” 

“I don't. I just heard some talking in school.”

“Oh” Simon said but he was way too excited now to be disappointed. “Do you want to hear our newest song?” he asked eagerly and pulled out his smartphone. “You’d be the first person to listen to it because we didn't perform it live yet.”   
Raphael shrugged. “Sure. Why not?” He didn't sound exceedingly excited about it but he never did that anyways so Simon didn't care. 

“Great! You have to tell me what you think about the lyrics cause that's the first song I’ve written.” Simon started the song and gave his phone to Raphael who then listened to the music over the earplugs. 

Simon watched him closely and tried to capture the other boys reaction but then somebody tapped his arm. He turned around and saw that it was the black haired girl with her boyfriend. 

“Sorry for asking but aren't you that guy from that band? Rock solid panda? The guys who played in the hunters moon two month ago?” she asked.

“Yes that's me, Simon Lewis.” It didn't happen that often that random people on the street recognised him so Simon couldn't be more happy about this.

“Ha! I told you it's him” the girl said to the boy who was holding her hand and smiled triumphantly but he just sighed. “Okay, okay you win the bet. Can we go now?” 

“Just one second” the girl said and turned back to Simon. “I just wanted to ask if you guys have another gig in the next time.” 

Simon shook his head. “No, not this month. You know with that christmas stuff it's all very busy at the moment and my friends don't have that much time for practising.” 

“Oh sure. I totally understand. Anyways I hope I can see you guys again sometime. You're really good.” 

“Yeah I hope so too. And thank you” Simon said and watched the couple leaving the shop. For a moment he was lost in thoughts but then he heard Raphael's voice behind his back: “Seems like you're already pretty popular here.” 

“I wouldn't say popular” he said but of course he was still flattered. 

Raphael smiled at Simon and gave his smartphone back to him. “I’m really sorry but I have to go home now” he said. “It was nice to meet you here.” 

“Oh, okay” Simon tried not to sound disappointed but he wasn't sure if he was doing a good job. “It was nice meeting you as well.” 

‘Now do something, Lewis’ his mind screamed at him. ‘Ask for his phone number before it's too late’ Simon opened his mouth but before he had the chance to say something the other one was already gone. 

“Damn it” Simon cursed loudly when the door closed behind him. Raphael didn't even tell him what he thought about the song. And he couldn't contact him either so he probably wouldn't see him again for the rest of the holidays. That wasn't acceptable. 

Without thinking about what he was doing Simon left the shop as well and followed Raphael who was now walking down the street. 

“God Simon this is totally fucked up” he murmured to himself. “You can't just follow this guy to see where he lives. That's fucking creepy.” 

But still his legs just didn't stop. Simon followed Raphael for about five minutes then the black haired boy stopped in front of a huge building and walked through the door. 

When Simon saw the sign on the wall of the house his heart stopped beating for a moment. He had expected a lot but he definitely had not seen that coming. Not at all.   
Raphael Santiago lived in an orphanage.


	4. Chapter 4

POV Simon 

Simons heart clenched. Raphael had no family. Nobody at all. Suddenly he felt bad for always complaining about his relatives. The Lewis family was quite big and Simon had way more cousins and second cousins than he could handle. His relatives were loud and voracious and relatively annoying in general because they were arguing all the time but now Simon thought that he maybe should be more grateful for having them. Even though they were driving him completely nuts most of the time he still loved them. And he definitely didn't have to feel alone like Raphael probably did. 

For a moment Simon was lost in thoughts and he only realized that he was still standing in front of the orphanage when suddenly the door opened and a woman came out of the building. By the way she was dressed Simon guessed that she worked there. He smiled at her and wanted to go because he didn't want to come across like a stalker but she stopped him before he had the chance to do so. 

“Hey there's no need to be shy. You’re here because of the gig right?” she asked and Simon didn't miss the hopeful undertone in her voice. “I saw you through the window and it looked like you were afraid to come in.” 

Actually he hadn't even thought about going in. And he definitely didn't know what gig this woman was talking about. But he also didn't want to say the truth about why he had been standing in front of the door like an idiot so he just nodded.

“Uh … yes. The gig. Sure.” Simon said and tried to sound as if he knew exactly what he was talking about while in reality he didn't have a clue what the hell he was doing. This time his mouth definitely had been faster than his brain again.

“Oh thank god, I’m so glad you want to do this” the woman said enthusiastically and clapped her hands. For a moment Simon thought she would hug him as well but luckily she didn't. “You got the job of course. When the other band cancelled last week I thought we wouldn't find another one till tomorrow and the kids were so happy about having a real band on our little christmas party. They would've been devastated if it didn't work.” 

“Tomorrow already, wow!” Simon laughed nervously. Gosh he was probably about to get himself into a lot of trouble if he didn't stop this right now and told this woman the truth. But his mouth just didn't stop talking. 

When the woman asked if there was a problem Simon shook his head. “No, no, not at all” he said. “That's great. Awesome. I knew that of course. And the exact time was...?” 

“Seven pm. But maybe you should be there a little bit earlier for setting up the instruments. I thought about you playing five or six songs in total and one christmas song maybe.” 

They would never manage to practise that many songs till then. ‘Just say that this is just a huge misunderstanding. Say it now Simon or it's too late.’ 

“Okay great. See you then” Simon said with a smile.

“Oh thank you so much. You're our savior, Mr …?”

“Lewis, Simon Lewis.”

“Mr. Lewis. I can't wait to hear the songs you have prepared” the woman said and shook his hand. Simon laughed. “Yeah me neither” he mumbled. 

As soon as the woman was gone again Simon just wanted to slap himself. Why the hell did he agree to do this? They didn't have any time to practise. Not till tomorrow. This was insane. He was insane. 

Simon walked through the streets and cursed silently. How was he supposed to tell his band that they had a gig tomorrow? They would kill him. He didn't dare to this face to face so he pulled out his smartphone and called Eric. He couldn't kill him over the phone. At least Simon hoped so. 

It rang three times but nobody picked up. “Oh he's busy. What a pity” Simon mumbled and wanted to end the call but then he suddenly heard Eric's voice from the other end.

“Si? Is that you?” he asked, sounding as if he was still half asleep. “I hope you have a really good excuse for waking me up that early on my first day off.” 

Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Could this even get any worse? 

“...” 

“Simon why are you so quiet? Gosh please tell me you didn't do something stupid again. I swear I’m gonna kill you.” 

“But you don't even know what it is” Simon said subdued. He wished he could just turn back time and go back to sitting in Java Jones again. Or, even better, lying in his bed. 

“So you did do something stupid?” 

“Uh I wouldn't say stupid … it's rather insane.” 

Even though Simon couldn't see Eric he knew exactly what expression was on his face at the moment - the ‘I’m going to torture Simon Lewis to death and burn his corpse’ expression. 

But Simon told him about what had happened anyways. There was no way he could possibly avoid that. He couldn't do this gig all alone. He needed his band and he just hoped that they wouldn't let him down now. 

“Wait a minute I’m going to sum this up again - just to be sure that I didn't misunderstood something” Eric said after Simon had finished and his voice sounded dangerously calm while he was talking. He was definitely wide awake now. “So you were saying that we have a gig tomorrow in the evening, a gig we do not have any songs for yet? A gig we can't cancel because our audience is a bunch of little orphan kids who are going to be devastated if we don't show up? A gig we do not even get paid for? And all that just because you want to get laid by that fucking guy you don't even know properly and who is MAYBE going to show up there as well?! Did I miss something or is this what you are trying to tell me??” 

“Uhm that's pretty accurate. But I don't want to get laid I just want to have his phone number” Simon said. He bit his lip and waited for Eric to yell at him but the other one just ended the call without saying another word. Wow. This was new. Simon couldn't remember that his friend had ever been that angry at him - and he had a very special talent for making people angry. Eric had never hung up on him before and Simon was almost certain that it probably wasn't a good sign.

He sighed and just wanted to put his phone away when somebody called him. It was Eric. 

“Hello?” Simon asked anxiously. 

“GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OVER HERE, LEWIS. NOW!!” the answer came almost immediately and Eric definitely didn't sound calm this time. His voice was in fact so loud that Simon almost dropped his phone. “AND YOU TELL THE OTHER ONES ABOUT THIS JUST TO MAKE THAT CLEAR!” With that he ended the call again. 

“Wow” Simon mumbled. “That was even worse than I thought.”

He walked to Eric's house and just when he arrived there he realized that he had forgotten to buy the presents. Again. 

 

Surprisingly Simon was still alive about five minutes later. Eric did not kill him. He had had breakfast by now so he was in a much better mood when he opened the door for Simon and let him into the house. He even apologized for having yelled at him like that. 

“I guess I maybe overreacted a little bit.” 

Simon snorted. “A little bit? I thought I could already order a coffin for me” he said and sat down on the sofa in the living room. 

“Do you also want some breakfast?” Eric asked and pointed at the kitchen table but Simon shook his head. “No thank you. I already ate in Java Jones. By the way did you know that Heidi works there now?” 

“What? No I didn't know that of course. I would've told you.” Simon believed him. Even though Eric was mad at him quite often he wouldn't be that cruel. He knew that Heidi was a creep and that Simon tried to avoid her so he definitely would have told him about her new job. Also his surprise definitely sounded real. 

He shook his head. “I can't believe that she is still after you like that. Didn't you tell her to fuck off?” Simon bit his lip. “Not directly I guess. She doesn't have that much friends as far as I know so I didn't want to be rude.” 

“Of course she has no friends! Cause she's freaking insane!” Eric exclaimed. “Seriously the way she is always following you is just super creepy. And that look in her eyes when she sees you … no offence Si but I think you really need to say something to her before things get even worse” Eric really sounded concerned now. Simon couldn't remember that he had ever been concerned about him before. He knew that he was right though. 

“I know” Simon whined. “But I just hate being rude to others. I mean she didn't touch me or something like that so I thought-” 

“Didn't touch you yet” Eric interrupted him. “Do you really want to wait until she kidnaps you and locks you up in her basement?” 

“I don't think that she would do that” Simon said but if he was being honest he wasn't entirely sure about it. “I'm gonna talk to her as soon as I meet her again.” 

“Considering the fact that she is always tracking you down like a bloodhound I guess that this is going to be very soon” Eric said sarcastically. 

“But normally bloodhounds are very friendly creatures” Simon pointed out. “They just have a very good nose that's all.” 

Eric rolled his eyes. “Of course you know stuff like that.” 

Simon shrugged. “I wanted to have a dog once so I did some research.” 

“Oh hello Simon” a voice said Simon realized that Eric's mother had just entered the kitchen. She seemed to be surprised about seeing here - probably because he had never been at their house before 12pm. Or she was more surprised about the fact that her son was already wide awake. Simon knew that Eric was always sleeping for hours when he didn't have to stand up in the morning. 

“What is up with you?” she asked now, looking at her son with a frown. “Are you sick? I thought you were still sleeping.”

“I would be. But unfortunately somebody called me on my phone and woke me up about one hour ago” Eric said and even though he didn't mention any names it was quite obvious that he was talking about Simon. “It's an emergency so I can't even think about sleeping now.”

“Emergency? What is it? Is somebody hurt?” Eric's mother asked concerned. 

“No, no it's not like that” Eric said quickly. “Even though I thought about hurting somebody just a few minutes ago…”

“Hey!” Simon said but Eric ignored him.

“Anyways it's just a band thing mom. Nothing you need to worry about.” 

“So this means you are going to make noise again the whole day?” Eric's mother asked and she didn't seem to be very about that prospect. 

Normally Simon, Eric, Kirk and Matt had always practised outside the house in the garage but they couldn't use it now because it was way too cold. After Eric had catched a cold in there his mother had basically forced them to get their stuff into the house instead. There was an empty room they could use but now it looked like she already regretted that she had agreed to have band practise sessions in her house in the first place. 

“You're the one who wanted us to play in here” Eric said and crossed his arms in front of his chest. His mother sighed. “Yes I know but I thought you wanted to take a break till next year.” 

“Uhm there was a little change of plans” Simon said. “The orphanage down the street wants to have some live music for their christmas party but the band who was supposed to come cancelled last minute so I thought that we could maybe help them.” 

Eric's mother looked surprised. “That's very kind of you Simon. What a wonderful idea.”

Eric snorted. “Kind my ass. He just wants to impress his crush.”

Simon blushed. Sure a part of him really wanted that but on the other hand he also wanted to help. He remembered how lucky the woman from the orphanage had been when he said that his band was going to come. Also this was what christmas was about, right? Being kind and helping others.  
“That's not true” Simon defended himself. “This isn't just about Raphael.” 

Eric didn't look convinced but his mother obviously was. Suddenly she seemed to be perfectly fine with them practising today. She said something about having to do christmas shopping in the afternoon anyways and that she and her husband probably wouldn't even be at home most of day. At this point Simon was so desperate that he had almost asked Eric's mother to do his christmas shopping as well and buy some presents for his friends but of course he couldn't do that. He had to buy the presents by himself but he didn't know when he was going to have time for that. They needed to focus on practising now. But for practising of course they needed the whole band. 

Unfortunately Eric had not changed his mind about what he had said earlier so Simon was the one who had the honor of calling the others. He started with Matt and to his great relief he reacted a lot better to the news than Eric had done. Actually his reaction was quite the opposite of Eric’s fit of rage: he was totally happy about the sudden change of plans.

“Oh that's great Si thank you so much” he said. “Mike invited me to this party tomorrow in the evening and now I have a perfect excuse for not going there.” 

Simon didn't know who this Mike guy was or why Matt wanted to avoid him so badly but he didn't ask. He was just glad that Matt didn't scream at him as well. “Glad I could help you.”

He didn't have that much luck with Kirk though. His family was in France, visiting their relatives until next year so he couldn't do the gig together with them even if he wanted to. Simon actually was a little bit jealous. He had always wanted to see France. Not just in pictures or on television of course but in real life. He had heard that Paris was beautiful in winter but his family didn't have enough money to travel a lot so he didn’t have much hope to get there anytime soon. Or ever.

“Kirk can't come” he told Eric after he had ended the call. “He's in europe with his family.”

Eric cursed. “But we need somebody who can play the keyboard. Do you know anybody?” 

Simon shrugged but then a brilliant idea came to his mind. “Oh my god I think I know somebody who can help us” he said with excitement.

Eric's face lit up immediately. “Really? Then what are you waiting for? Call them before it's too late!”

Simon nodded and quickly typed in the number. He just hoped that they were at still home for the next two days cause he was pretty sure that they were also going to drive away soon. At least they had been doing it all the years before.

He waited impatiently until somebody picked up. “Hello?” 

“Oh thank god you picked up” Simon said relieved when he heard his best friends voice. His name was Alexander but usually everybody just called him Alec. “Are you and your family still at home today and tomorrow? Please say yes you're my last hope.” 

“Yes we are at home. We drive the day before christmas like every year” Alec said and Simon let out a sigh of relief. “Yes!!” 

“Simon what is this about?” Alec asked, now sounding suspicious and Simon could almost see his frown through the phone. He was probably expecting the worst as always.

“I'm in trouble and I thought you could maybe help me” Simon said hopefully.

Alec sighed in response. “Why am I not surprised about this? What did you do?” 

For a moment Simon was upset that his friend automatically thought that he was the one who had caused the trouble he was in but then he came to the conclusion that he probably couldn't blame him since it was really true most of the time. 

Simon quickly explained the situation to him and Alec listened patiently while he was talking. “... so I wanted to ask if you could maybe ask Jace to help us” Simon eventually ended his monologue a little breathless. He should probably take some breaks to breathe while he was talking but somehow he forgot about that time and again.

“Why don't you ask him yourself?” Alec asked back.

“You know that he hates it when I call him” Simon said. He and Alec's adoptive brother had never been exactly close. Probably it was because they used to have a crush on the same girl. In the end Clary chose Jace over him but Simon felt like Jace still hated him for some reason. He would never help him if he asked for it but when Alec was the one talking to him chances were definitely better.

“Right” Alec said with a little chuckle. “I'm gonna ask him if he can help you … no wait. Sorry Simon but I just remembered that he is having plans with Clary today and he's definitely not going to cancel that.” 

Yeah especially not for me, Simon added in his head. 

“Damn it” he said out loudly. “Then do you know somebody else who knows how to play the keyboard and who is free today and tomorrow? It's just for one performance. Pleeease Alec you need to help me” Simon whined. He didn’t care how desperate he sounded at this point because he was really about to lose hope. He really wanted this to work out but it almost seemed impossible.

“Actually” Alec said after a few seconds of silence. “Actually I really do know somebody.”

“Oh my god I love you, Alec” Simon cheered and he probably would have kissed his friend as well if he was here. “So who is it?”


	5. Chapter 5

POV Alec 

Soon Magnus and Jace were having a very deep conversation about music and Alec felt like he was invisible. He tried his best to not let it show but he was hurt. Jace was always the one who was catching all the attention. Whenever they were in a room together everybody just looked at his brother while Alec faded into the background more and more until he had completely disappeared. Most of the time Alec was okay with that cause he didn't feel the urge to be social anyways. But then, sometimes, he also wanted to say something, wanted to be noticed, but nobody listened to him while Jace was talking. Jace was charismatic and popular and people usually liked being around him while Alec was … Alec. He was just the grumpy brother. He was the sidekick that was with Jace most of the time but nobody really payed attention to. He didn't want to be anybody's sidekick but he didn't know what to do against it either. He probably just had to accept it and learn to live with it. But it was hard sometimes. Just like now.

Finally there was somebody Alec had dared to talk to, somebody he could maybe have a connection with and he wanted to know more about but then Jace had been getting in his way once again. 

Alec knew that his brother wasn't doing it on purpose of course. He probably didn't even know that Alec also wanted to say something. He didn't know how miserable it made him feel when he talked to others like that, so casual as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Jace was just being himself - a normal person who was able to talk to everybody and make them like him within seconds. He wasn’t a freak like him who didn't know how to communicate with other humans without possibly offending them or bore them to death. Who had to plan everything he was saying at last five minutes in advance. Who couldn't sleep the whole night just because he was thinking about how to behave and what to say in specific social situations that hadn't even happened yet. 

Alec had never been jealous of Jace before but right now he was and his mood was getting worse with every second that passed. 

He was almost relieved when suddenly his phone started ringing. 

Magnus and Jace interrupted their conversation and looked at him. 

‘Oh they noticed that I'm still here’ Alec thought sarcastically and stood up, leaving the room without saying another word to pick up the call.

It was Alec's best friend Simon and apparently he had gotten himself into trouble again. Alec couldn't say that he was very surprised about that. His friend told him that he was looking for someone who knew how to play the keyboard and asked for Jace. 

‘Of course it's him again’ Alec thought bitterly. ‘Everybody needs Jace and nobody needs me’. 

He knew that his thoughts were ridiculous but still he couldn't stop them. It wasn't like Simon could ask him for help. Alec didn't know anything about music. But still it annoyed him that everything always was about Jace. 

Nevertheless he promised Simon to ask him if he could help them but then he remembered that his brother already had other plans - and in contrary to Alec he surely wouldn't cancel them for Simon, the guy who almost ‘stole his girlfriend away from him’.  
Still Alec wanted to help his friend of course. He thought about what he could do and realized that he actually knew somebody else who would be able to do the job.

“You don't know him” Alec said when Simon asked him who it was. “But don't worry. He's really cute … uh … good.” 

“Cute?” Even though Alec couldn't see his friends face at the moment he knew exactly that he was smirking while he was talking. 

“No good. I wanted to say good, really!” Alec said quickly and felt that he was blushing again. Gosh he couldn't believe that he had actually said that. Well at least Magnus had not heard it cause that definitely would have been even more embarrassing.

“But he is cute?” Simon teased him.

Alec sighed. “Maybe. I don’t know. I barely know him to be honest.” ‘And he probably already likes Jace better than me’, he added in his head. 

“You don't have to know somebody to say that he's cute.” 

“Simon! Stop talking about this or I'm not going to help you.” 

“Okay, okay.” Simon laughed. 

“Also I need to ask him first” Alec said. “I'm gonna write you a message when I know more.” 

He ended the call and walked back into the living room where Jace was just showing Magnus the necklace Clary had given him for his birthday a few month ago. Even though Alec was still a little bit mad at his brother he had to admit that it was cute that he was so in love with the little redhead. Disgustingly cute. Jace had been so different before he met Clary, colder somehow, and now he was smiling like an idiot every time he mentioned her. And he mentioned her quite a lot. She definitely had a good influence on him, Alec couldn't deny that. He just wished that one day he would also have somebody who was able to make him smile like that. Preferably not a girl though.

He cleared his throat. “Uh…Magnus?”

“Yes?” Magnus asked and looked at him with his deep brown eyes. Alec wondered if he could ever get used to those eyes. They were so warm and kind and maybe a little bit sad. After a few seconds of silence he remembered that he had just been about to say something and he blushed deeply, tearing his eyes away from Magnus's face.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” he asked and hoped that his voice didn't sound as weird as it seemed to him.

“Sure, Alexander. What is it?”

“Yes what’s up brother?” Jace asked curiously.

“Oh, Jace I think mom wants you to help her in the kitchen” Alec lied. He really wanted to talk to Magnus without his brother interrupting him in mid-sentence like he tended to do quite often. Luckily Jace fell for his lie and left the room.

As soon as he was gone Alec heard that Magnus was chuckling softly. “Does your mother really need him or did you just want him to leave us alone?” he asked, sounding amused.

“Uh….”

“Do you want to go to your room and talk there?” Magnus asked and before Alec had the chance to answer the other one was already standing right in front of him and grabbed him by the sleeve of his hoodie. 

Magnus dragged Alec upstairs but obviously he had forgotten where his room was exactly because he opened the door to the bathroom instead.

“Oh” he said and blushed in the cutest way possible. Alec was glad to see that apparently he wasn't the only one who tended to turn into a tomato when he was embarrassed. “Wrong room” Magnus mumbled and closed the door again.

Alec couldn't help but giggle. “My room is next door.”

“Right.”

They walked into Alecs room and Magnus closed the door behind them. For some reason this was making Alec a little bit nervous. It didn't happen quite often that he was alone in his room with a cute guy like Magnus. Actually it had never happened before so Alec didn't really know how to deal with this.

Magnus sat down on his bed and looked at him. “So?” he asked and it looked like he was waiting for something. 

“So what?” Alec asked tensely. What the hell was Magnus expecting him to do? 

“You said you wanted to talk with me” Magnus reminded him with a grin on his face.

“Oh, yeah, right.” Alec blushed. He couldn't believe that he had really forgotten about this. Magnus probably thought that he was totally dumb.

“Actually I wanted to ask you for a favor” Alec said and sat down on his desk chair since sitting down next to Magnus probably wasn't a very good idea. He needed to think straight and he couldn't do that when he was sitting on his bed with a guy like him.

Magnus raised his eyebrows. He seemed to be surprised. “Well...what is it?” he asked eventually, the grin still on his face. “I'm open for anything.”

For a short moment Alec thought that this statement could also have a slightly different meaning but then he shook his head. Magnus definitely wasn't trying to imply something like that to him. Only in his dreams.

“It's about a friend, Simon” Alec said.

“Oh.”

“His band has a gig tomorrow and they need somebody who knows how to play the keyboard. Of course there's also Jace but he's busy tomorrow so I thought that you could maybe...but of course you don't have to. I mean you don't even know them but Simon sounded really desperate so I wanted to…”

Alec interrupted himself when he realized that he almost sounded like Simon. Normally he definitely didn't talk that fast. Or that much. But apparently Magnus had understood what he had been talking about.

“Of course I'm going to help them” he said with a smile. “I mean it's christmas, right? Not exactly the right time to be a jerk.”

Alec chuckled. He could hardly imagine that Magnus even knew how to be jerk. 

“Right. So you really want to do this?” he asked again, just to be sure.

Magnus rolled his eyes but it was obvious that it wasn't serious. “Yes I really want to.”

“Great. Thank you so much” Alec said and jumped to his feet. He was so relieved that he had almost hugged the other one but when he realized what he was about to do he stopped in the middle of the movement and shook his hand instead, leaving some more distance between them.

“No problem” Magnus said. “So when am I going to meet this Simon and his band?”

“What about right after lunch?” Alec suggested. 

“They want to practise today in the afternoon so they are going to need you.”

“Okay, sure. I don't have any plans” Magnus said. 

“But this is probably going to be much work” Alec warned him. “The situation is a little bit complicated at the moment. There’s quite a lot of time pressure.”  
He hoped that Magnus wouldn't change his mind now but he didn't.

“I love a challenge” he just said and winked at Alec, making him blush yet again. 

Just when they had finished their conversation there was a knock on the door. Alec was almost certain that it was his mother cause usually his siblings just came into the room without waiting for his permission first.

“Come in” he said and Maryse opened the door.

“Sorry am I bothering you?” she asked. 

Alec shook his head. “No, it's alright. What’s the matter?” 

“Ms. Blake just called me and asked if you, Jace and Izzy wanted to come over this morning” Maryse explained. “Of course you are also invited.“ She looked at Magnus with a smile on her face. “She's really excited to get to know you.”

“Oh really?” Magnus seemed to be surprised as well as a little bit confused. “That's very nice of her.” 

“Are are you going to go then?” Maryse asked, now focussing on Alec again. He quickly looked over to Magnus and made sure that he didn't have something against it before he nodded eventually. 

“Sure, why not? I mean Simon actually also asked for our help but we didn't want to leave before lunch so we still have some time left.”

“Great” Maryse said enthusiastically and clapped her hands. “Izzy and Jace are waiting downstairs. Oh and don't forget the cookie cutters. I already put them on the kitchen counter for you” she added quickly before she left the room again.

“So we are going to visit your neighbour and bake christmas cookies with her did I get this right?” Magnus asked when they were alone again.

“For her actually. She's old and she needs our help with the christmas preparations” Alec corrected him. “Usually I am the one who is baking the cookies cause Izzy is a real danger in the kitchen. But she and Jace put up the lights and the other christmas decorations instead.” 

“Oh, okay. Sounds fun” Magnus said. 

“It is” Alec promised him with a smile and they went downstairs together. 

 

They knocked at the door of Ms. Blake's house just a few minutes later. The old woman opened the door and beamed when she saw Alec and his siblings standing in front of her. She immediately hugged all of them and of course Magnus received the same greeting as well. 

“I'm very happy to see you all” she said and stepped aside so that they could enter the house. “I still have to do some phone calls but you can start already. The cartons with the decorations are on the attic and the ingredients for the cookies in the kitchen of course.” She smiled at the four teenagers and then left the room. 

Alec shook his head and couldn't hide a smile. Ms. Blake always was like that. Even though she was quite old already she always seemed to be busy and was running around the entire house when they were there. It wasn't like she wouldn't be able to put up the decorations by herself but she often tended to exhaust herself too much so Maryse had insisted that they helped her from time to time. 

“So … I've heard you and Jace are the decoration experts here” Magnus said to Izzy, obviously trying to make conversation.

Izzy snorted. “Me, yes” she said. “But Jace definitely not. He’s so bad at decorating it's not even funny. He always wants to hang up the lametta first. And what's even worse is that he isn't even learning from his mistakes. Every year I tell him how to do it right but until the year after that he has already forgotten everything.”

Magnus looked at Jace as if he was insane. “You can't do that. You hang up the light garlands first, then the christmas tree balls and then the lametta at the very end. That's the only right order.” 

“Right, exactly!” Izzy said triumphantly. “Finally somebody who understands. Jace you are hereby replaced by Magnus.” 

“I didn't mean to replace anybody here” Magnus said quickly, obviously not wanting to start a fight with Jace but apparently Jace couldn't care less about Izzy’s rejection. He just shrugged casually. “No problem” he said. “If Izzy does not appreciate my decoration abilities I'm going to work with Alec instead, right brother?” He laid his arm around Alec’s shoulder and grinned at him.

“I have every right to not appreciate your so called decoration abilities” Izzy said cockily and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “You are never appreciating my cooking abilities either.”

“Yes cause you do not have any” Jace mumbled quietly but of course Izzy heard it anyways.

“See! That's exactly what I mean!” she snapped. “You're such an idiot.” 

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry” Jace said and rolled his eyes. “Would you forgive me if I was helping the two of you with the cartons?” 

“Alright” Izzy said but she still seemed to be upset.   
Jace and Alec followed her and Magnus to the attic and helped them to take the cartons with the decorations down. One time Alec and Magnus reached for the same box at the same time and their hands brushed slightly. Even though the body contact just lasted for the fraction of a second it was like Alec was receiving an electric shock. He quickly pulled his hand back again and apologized.

“No problem” Magnus said sheepishly and smiled at him in a way that made Alec’s heartbeat stutter.   
When all the cartons were eventually standing in living room Alec and Jace went into the kitchen and started working. Unfortunately the dough had to cool down first after they had finished it so they put it into the refrigerator and waited for half an hour. 

After the time was over they took the dough out again and Alec rolled out the first portion. When he was done Jace immediately started cutting the cookies. Alec’s task was it to take them when they were ready and to put them onto the baking sheet. While Jace was busy Alec couldn't help but take a quick look into the living room, where Magnus and Izzy were decorating the tree. They both had handmade christmas garlands wrapped around their bodies and seemed to have a lot of fun while they were working. Alec tried his best to ignore the strange feeling that started to spread in his stomach when he saw them laughing together. He wasn't jealous. Or at least he didn't want to be cause he knew that it was ridiculous. Still he just couldn't look away.

Magnus was so adorable with the gray sweater and the christmas garland wrapped around his throat. Alec wondered if it was even possible to think that he wasn't cute. Magnus was that kind of person Alec just wanted to grab and cuddle until he couldn't breathe any longer … okay maybe that would be rather counterproductive. He definitely needed a breathing Magnus. He needed a Magnus with flustered cheeks and sparkling eyes like the one who was in the living room with his sister.

Alec didn't know how long he had already been staring at the other boy and for a moment he forgot everything else. He still was aware of the fact that Jace was standing next to him but his voice sounded so distant suddenly … probably because Alec didn't pay attention to what he was saying since all his senses were still concentrating on Magnus. It almost felt like he was in a trance - at least until Jace suddenly started yelling his name and brought him back to reality again. 

“Hey, idiot, would you look at what you are doing? You just destroyed my reindeer! It's head broke off” he complained. 

“Oh” Alec mumbled and looked at the cookie he was holding in his hand. He hadn't even noticed that he had taken it from Jace. “Haven't you heard about Rudolph the headless reindeer?” he asked, trying to be funny but Jace just snorted.

“Sounds like a very bad horror movie made for traumatizing little children” he said. “This definitely wouldn't have happened if you were really concentrating on what we are doing here instead of staring at Magnus the entire time.” 

Alec felt caught in the act. “I wasn't staring at him” he protested but it didn't sound very convincing. He had always been a horrible liar.

“Of course you were” Jace said with a smirk. “Looks like somebody’s in love, huh?” he teased his brother and Alec blushed involuntarily. 

“Shut up” he said and avoided the other ones eyes. Probably not the best tactic since Jace immediately saw through him now. “Oh my god you really think he's cute, don't you?” he asked, taken aback. 

Alec’s heart stopped beating for a second. He had never talked about his sexual preferences since he wasn't that sure about it himself but he felt like he had just kind of been coming out to his brother. ‘Great job, Alec’ he thought and tried his best not to panic. ‘What are you gonna say now? You know exactly that you can't lie to him.’

He could still feel Jace's eyes on him and he knew that he had to say something to explain his behaviour. 

“Maybe” he said eventually and tensley waited for his brothers reaction while he stared down at the headless reindeer he was still holding in his hand. For a few seconds Jace didn't say anything but then he chuckled. “Is that why you were throwing me out of the room earlier? Because you wanted to be alone with him?” he asked and Alec could almost hear that he was smirking again. 

He blushed and apparently that was enough of an answer for his brother. 

“Why didn't you tell me?! I would have asked him to help you with the cookies instead. Then you wouldn't have to stare into the living room the whole time” he said.

“It's okay” Alec replied and cleared his throat, trying to cover his embarrassment. “I'm not sure what is going on to be honest. He just … confuses me.”   
Jace smiled and put his hand on Alec’s shoulder. 

“Just take your time to figure it out. But if you need flirting advice at some point just ask me. I mean I'm used to flirting with women but I guess the difference isn't that big.” 

Immediately Alec regretted having told his brother about the issue in the first place. The last thing he needed was flirting advice from Jace. 

“Oh god please no” he said and his brother laughed, probably because of the horrified expression on his face.

“Then ask Izzy instead. She knows exactly how to hit on boys … but I think this weird dancing ritual she is doing at the moment isn't a part of it. At least I hope so” he said. 

Alec looked back into the living room where his sister was currently dancing to the christmas music that was coming out of the radio. Magnus was watching her as well and laughed - apparently Izzy wanted it to look ridiculous. 

“Great moves, Iz” Jace shouted and Alec giggled quietly.

“Thanks a lot” Izzy said light-heartedly. She was holding a golden bowknot in her hands but instead of putting it on the tree she placed it on Magnus's head. 

“Hey Alec, look I've got an early christmas present for you” she said and laughed. 

Alec and Magnus looked at each other and blushed.   
Why was Izzy doing this? Did she know about Alec’s feelings? Did she realize that he thought Magnus was cute because of the way he had acted during breakfast? Or was this just a coincidence? 

“Oh look at that - it's just that you wanted” Jace whispered quietly so only Alec could hear him and elbowed him teasingly. 

“Shut up or I'm going to kill you” Alec murmured. “Slowly and painfully.” 

Jace laughed. “But then Santa isn't going to give you any presents this year. Especially not cute black haired boys with golden bowknots on their heads.”

“I said shut up. Here eat the headless reindeer” Alec said and stuffed the raw dough into his brothers mouth before he had the chance to say something else. 

Magnus and Izzy who had both seen it laughed and Alec grinned proudly.

“Don't eat too much raw dough or you're going to get sick Jace” Izzy giggled. 

Jace gave her the finger as an answer. Unfortunately for him Ms. Blake came back just in that moment and saw the gesture as well. She wasn't exactly angry about it but nevertheless she ended up giving Jace a lecture about how to treat other people while Alec, Izzy and Magnus tried their best not to laugh.   
After that Jace stopped teasing Alec about Magnus. 

When they were finished with baking Izzy and Magnus came into the kitchen to have a taste. Alec and Jace also ate some of the cookies and they were really good.

“Don't eat all of them, I still need some for the next few days when you're gone” Ms. Blake said at some point and took the cookies away from them. 

“Gone?” Magnus asked and frowned in confusion. “Where are we going? Did I miss something?”


End file.
